I am a Powerful Energy Source...

This morning, the fog lifted.  No.. there was no actual astronomical fog... it was the fog in my mind that has been there for months.  For some reason, this morning seemed different.  Instead of hitting my snooze button on the alarm clock a million times, I woke up, snapped on the Christmas tree lights and brewed a pot of coffee... the sky was still dark, the apartment a little chilly.  My intention was to meditate, or write, or both.. and I marveled that I was even able to come up with a clear intention so early in the morning.  I watched the sun light up the sky, and remembered my personal mantra as I sipped my coffee.  "I am a powerful energy source that radiates love and light to all that surrounds me"

I am a powerful energy source.  I am a powerful energy source.  I turned my gaze to the gentle twinkling of my Christmas tree lights, and thought about my mantra for a moment.  Powerful.  Energy source.  Just like the sun...

Upon second glance out my porch door, the sun now was melting away the darkness, and slowly, the world started to glow.  The snow turned from a crystal white to a soft shade of pink.  The trees looked like they were on fire.  The pink was so intensely illuminated, a shade that is familiar but indescribable.  Yes, for a moment, my breath was taken away and I was amazed at the glory of the morning.  This morning feels different.  There is a shift happening...

When I first thought up my mantra "I am a powerful energy source that radiates love and light to all that surrounds me"... I pictured in my mind a bright ball of fire - hot, intense, burning.  I pictured myself lighting up the world because I was ON FIRE.  And at the time, that felt very right.  I was stoked because I had just completed my coaching curriculum.  I was fueled because I was starting a new business.   I was burning because I was meeting new people and making new connections.

What I never expected was to lose that fire.  The business didn't build as quickly as I intended.  Clients weren't pounding down my door.  Connections and leads dried up.  I lost my spark and the intensity began to fade.  I lost some confidence when I took a hiatus from my business building because of illness and personal hardships.  I began to doubt myself and my abilities.

I thought my fire went out.

Until this morning.  Until I watched the sun rise.  I watched the darkness melt away, the grays turned into hues of yellow, red, and pink.  I watched the sun slowly edge out of slumber.... it gently kissed each hill and valley.... each shadow eventually slinked away.  The snowy Earth welcomed the sun by sparkling in brilliance like diamonds. 

My fire didn't go out... I am a powerful energy source.. like the sun, and I was simply waiting for the dawn of a new day.  Today is my new day.

Time to light up the world.